Its a blog!

I've never had a blog. I'm excited, and nervous, to start one.

Writing always felt like a struggle, like a chore, until I started stream-of-thought journaling early this year, at 34. I've always admired people who can write, especially those who can write about the human condition – about themselves. Many of the people closest to me are artists or scholars, or otherwise folks with a humanities background. For someone like me, who studied STEM in college, and who had a mediocre highschool literature education, it's long felt out of reach. Which is funny for someone who has so much to say.

Coming close to fifteen years of contemplative instrospection, I'm now at a place where I feel more comfortable expressing myself with the written word. It required a few things.

First, to transition. I was always a girl, a dangerously confused and invisibly pained girl at that. Now, after a beautiful and grueling 7 years of social and medical transition, I finally feel like a grown woman. That journey isn't over, but I've walked enough for me to speak freely and truly, with clarity, from my own heart.

Second, to embrace and address my neurodivergence, and take the steps to take it up on myself to develop my executive functioning skills, my way. ADHD is wild and when not well treated, it is truly debilitating. I'm proud to understand myself well enough to come up with creative, meaningful, and enjoyable ways to make plans and see them through. The fact I've found ways to do that without any longer needing medication is a real blessing.

Third, pressure and structure. I'm starting a 12-week residency at Recurse Center in less than a week. One of their guiding principles is to "Learn generously." While it can take many forms, from pair-programming to presentations, many folks choose to write about their experience during their time at RC, sharing knowledge through blog posts detailing the trials and tribulations of taking on ambitious programming projects. I want to take advantage of this culture, and commit to writing regularly about everything in life I love to study: technology, creativity, and healing human connections.